Subtle Bluntness

Yeah, I missed another weekend of box office results last week. I just couldn’t stomach the thought of having to write about the number one movie in the country being Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Fortunately, with a little help from the extra-potent combat drugs found in this week’s top film, Max Payne ($17 million), I can [...]

Who was Rudy Ray Moore?  Well, I’ll let the man himself tell you. You can read my tribute at that link up there, but I don’t think anyone can pay homage to Dolemite moreso than the human blaxploitation parody (and my favorite rapper of all time), Ol’ Dirty Bastard.  Take it away, Big Baby Jesus:

There’s something I don’t really get. Shia LaBeouf is somehow the biggest star on the planet, and I have absolutely no idea how or why he’s gotten this way. His lifetime gross is nearly $975 million in the United States alone. He made $316 million and counting off of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of [...]

I was watching clips of Dolemite (don’t ask) tonight when I stumbled across a blaxploitation trailer I’d never seen before. I clicked on it and found myself watching the red band promo for Black Dynamite. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that not only is it a new movie (with Michael Jai White of all [...]

Dear Kiefer, I just saw Mirrors this week. Here’s my review, if you’re interested. I’ll give you some time to have your personal assistant read it to you. Okay, are you done? Good, good. Let’s continue. Listen, Kief… can I call you Kief? Too bad. Anyway, Kief, you’re on a hit TV show where you [...]

I kind of want to say George Lucas raped my childhood with his CGI animated version of The Clone Wars, but he didn’t. He just… disappointed my childhood, like he couldn’t even properly brutalize my good memories of Star Wars. It’s a little like expecting to be molested by your drunken stepfather, but then realizing [...]

I have a problem with any movie based heavily on cars. They always affect me a bit too much, and usually not for the best. Here’s an example: After I saw Grindhouse, I sped all the way home. Not just like a little speeding, I mean a lot speeding. I had the highway to myself, [...]

The Mummy 3 is, without a doubt, a dumb movie. Just when things seem like they’re getting more reasonable, something insane shows up and makes the movie that much crazier. Brendan Frasier is carved from a block of maple. Maria Bello has nothing to work with. There’s not enough Jet Li or Michelle Yeoh, and [...]

Will Ferrell is back, and he’s teaming with Anchorman director Adam McKay and scene-stealing legitimate actor turned professional dufus John C. Reilly in the new lowbrow comedy Step Brothers! You see, it’s funny because they’re both middle aged and they still live with their parents! Hahaha, they’re losers! There’s farting and grown men in their [...]

The Dark Knight is quite possibly the most hyped film of the year, thanks to the death of Heath Ledger. As it turns out, the second of Christopher Nolan’s Batman films might also be the best film of the year as well. Check out my comprehensive review at Den of Geek. Honestly, this movie was [...]