Subtle Bluntness

I’ve decided that Michael C. Hall is completely incapable of acting in any role where the character is supposed to be a heterosexual.  Every role I’ve seen him in, from David Fisher to Dexter to Ken Castle in Gamer, comes across as the character being gay, even if the character isn’t supposed to be gay.  [...]

Okay, so maybe 7 didn’t eat 9, but I did go see 9, the new animated sci-fi stitchpunk post-apocalyptic action-thriller adjectives-filled feast for the eyes from executive producers Tim Burton and Timur Bekmambetov.  Oh, also director/writer/animator Shane Acker, but nobody knows who he is so let’s mention the people involved with paying for the movie [...]

Well, I saw The Goods this weekend.  Basically, it’s another starmaking vehicle for Jeremy Piven (who already had one in the underrated PCU) where he plays a guy who… well, let’s be honest here.  Jeremy Piven is basically playing Jeremy Piven here.  Or some version of Jeremy Piven, at least.  Here’s the review, for those [...]

So thanks to Kiwibox I got to see the best picture of 2008, Slumdog Millionaire.  I don’t know if it’s the best picture, but it definitely is a hellaciously entertaining movie with a timeless plot energized by its location and the obvious directing talents of one of my favorites, Danny Boyle.  Check out my DVD [...]

See that up there?  That’s Samuel L. Jackson in a Nazi uniform.  Kind of crazy, isn’t it? Well, that’s actually one of the most sane things about The Spirit, which I reviewed on Special 2-Disc DVD.  I was eagerly awaiting the movie when I heard it was going to be released, as I wanted to [...]

So that happened.  Tyler Perry’s Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to Jail made $41 million dollars this weekend.  In turn, I jammed a salad fork into the bottom of my foot. In less unpleasant news, I got to review I Love The 80’s:  The Naked Gun and Choke:  Special Edition for various places.  I love it [...]

I could not be more excited by this.  I hate remakes, but these two trailers alone contain so many redone versions of classic Jason kills that it may as well be called Friday the 13th:  Jason’s Greatest Hits.  So yeah, I’m very excited by the prospect of another Friday the 13th Jason Festival.  I’ve already [...]

You know, for most of the big stars, I can see their appeal.  Even if I don’t personally like her, I can see why people (women especially) would like the nonthreatening girl next door Julia Roberts, even if equinophobics cringe every time she opens her muzzle to devour a bag of oats.  I can see [...]

I’ve braced myself for the torment of hate that may never come.  Here’s my absolutely scathing review of Twilight.  The only movie I’ve ever seen that just begged me to drop a Cleveland steamer on it this much was Jeepers Creepers.  The only thing that puts Creepers over the top is the pedophile director.  Catherine [...]

For some reason, in both things I did this week for Den of Geek (the weekend box office report, back after a short hiatus, and a review of Zack and Miri Make A Porno), I talk a lot about Kevin Smith as a filmmaker.  Maybe it’s because I talked about Kevin Smith’s new movie, but [...]