Subtle Bluntness

Hey, did you know that sometimes I watch movies?  Like, for example, Astro Boy.  Sometimes I even write about movies I’ve already talked about, like that time I talked about how the Saw franchise is on its way out the door and how the torture porn genre is soooo 2006. But mostly it’s videos, because [...]

Did you see Saw?  I saw Saw.  I also saw Saws II and III.  Then I realized that the series would never be more than mediocre and dropped out for Saws IV and V. Then, the other night, I saw Saw VI and realized the series had been taken over by the two guys that [...]

So, Zombieland.  I got to see it this weekend and, in a word:  awesome.  In two words?  Fucking awesome.  It was this weekend’s big hit and nobody I know who saw it has a bad word to say about it.  Check their blogs and see if you don’t believe me. (And if you don’t buy [...]

Well, I saw two movies in the last two weeks, Jennifer’s Body and Surrogates.  Jennifer’s Body was fun horror/comedy, and Surrogates was kind of fun (because of Bruce Willis) sci-fi/action, but it was Surrogates that got my brain a-scrambling like a midget on a treadmill.  Well, it was a combination of Surrogates and this quote [...]

Okay, so maybe 7 didn’t eat 9, but I did go see 9, the new animated sci-fi stitchpunk post-apocalyptic action-thriller adjectives-filled feast for the eyes from executive producers Tim Burton and Timur Bekmambetov.  Oh, also director/writer/animator Shane Acker, but nobody knows who he is so let’s mention the people involved with paying for the movie [...]

Well, I saw Halloween II last weekend, and I had quite a bit to say about it.  You can check out my official review here, if you are so inclined. For once, I don’t have anything I feel compelled to add to the official review in my writer’s commentary within the self-promotional blog post.  It’s [...]

Well, I saw The Goods this weekend.  Basically, it’s another starmaking vehicle for Jeremy Piven (who already had one in the underrated PCU) where he plays a guy who… well, let’s be honest here.  Jeremy Piven is basically playing Jeremy Piven here.  Or some version of Jeremy Piven, at least.  Here’s the review, for those [...]

Gonna do something a little different today, gang.  I wrote a nice review of Funny People for Den of Geek (number one at the box office, and number one in our hearts), but not only was it a little long, it was a little inappropriate for the audience involved.  Mostly because people couldn’t care less [...]

I reviewed Orphan for Den of Geek this weekend.  In the process of writing about the disappointing film, I stumbled across a vaguely interesting question.  What’s better for a movie? To start off legitimately interesting and to devolve into a series of dumb clichés, or to just be a series of dumb clichés without teasing [...]

I saw Year One last weekend.  Not many other people did.  The crowd was sparse, as were the laughs. Here’s the review. It’s hard to believe Jack Black has gone from High Fidelity and Tenacious D to doing dreck like this.  It’s even harder to believe that Harold Ramis was associated with the project (though [...]