So Farrah Fawcett died and went to heaven. God asked her, “You can have one wish, what would you like done on earth?”
She says, “Save the suffering children.”
So God kills Michael Jackson.
Author’s Note: No, I didn’t write this one, but it was sent to me. Yes, I know it’s bad.
Me: Why did you have to go and kill Michael Jackson?
Garth Marenghi: I’m sorry.
Me: Now his zombie won’t stop dancing on my lawn
Garth Marenghi: It’s like “Return of the Living Dead II” only real. No one deserves that. If only I’d known this would happen, I’d've spared his life.
Me: luckily for me he seems a lot more interested in those cub scouts
Garth Marenghi: Who’s going to look after them now?
Me: Roman Polanski? Oh wait, those are girl scouts
Garth Marenghi: lol
Me: How about Victor Salva?
Garth Marenghi: He cares a lot.
Me: He has got so much love to give. And so much wine and sleeping pills.
Garth Marenghi: We’re both going to Hell.
Me: We really are. And guess who’ll be waiting?
In one glove and a red leather coat
Garth Marenghi: Him and John Wayne Gacy.
Me: Now that’s scary.
In honor of Michael’s passing, Boy Scout troops across the country tomorrow will be wearing their pants at half-mast.
As usual, The Onion broke the story of MJ’s death ahead of everyone.
Author’s Note: Is it tasteless to mock the dead? Sure. Is it tasteless to mock a dead pedophile? Not so much. Screw around with kids and you deserve all the public humiliation I can muster. Shame he did most of the humiliating himself with how he’s lived over the past 15 years or so.
Author’s Note 2: Thriller is still really badass. Second best thing John Landis has ever done, slightly after American Werewolf in London and slightly ahead of Animal House and The Blues Brothers.
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