Subtle Bluntness

Of the four major networks, Fox broadcasts the least amount of network primetime programming, and the highest percentage of their programming is science fiction (unless you count ‘drama’ as a category, which I don’t because most of their dramas could also be called sci-fi about half the time).  Yet this network, which spends a fortune [...]

So this week I’ve managed to dig my way out of a gigantic pile of freelance work.  I’m one of the unlucky folks who simply can’t get started without a lot of time pressure, so that means that in a few short days I’ve driven myself to make a list of projects and actually finish [...]

Well, I’m just everywhere these days.  You know my other places that I write by now, but perhaps you don’t know the latest place I’m doing DVD reviews at.  It’s called Kiwibox, and it’s like a social networking/magazine thing.  The magazine part is what I’m mostly there for. Either way, they get DVDs in for [...]

You know, for most of the big stars, I can see their appeal.  Even if I don’t personally like her, I can see why people (women especially) would like the nonthreatening girl next door Julia Roberts, even if equinophobics cringe every time she opens her muzzle to devour a bag of oats.  I can see [...]

I try not to have unreasonable expectations for movies.  I knew going in that The Day The Earth Stood Still was going to be brainless, pointless, and very loud.  I’m fine with that.  I knew going in that Keanu Reeves would be involved.  I was prepared. All I wanted from The Day The Earth Stood [...]

I kind of want to say George Lucas raped my childhood with his CGI animated version of The Clone Wars, but he didn’t. He just… disappointed my childhood, like he couldn’t even properly brutalize my good memories of Star Wars. It’s a little like expecting to be molested by your drunken stepfather, but then realizing [...]

I love The X-Files. From the first season until I went off to college, I watched the show religiously, no matter what time it was screened or what day of the week it was shown on. I saw the first movie on opening day; I have a couple of X-Files tee shirts somewhere in my [...]

Welcome to a sick and twisted future, where gold is worthless (because of the mountain of it they found in Antarctica) and the world economies have been destroyed, shattering nations into hundreds of nation states and putting evil people like the Governor of California at odds with even more ruthless and evil people like the [...]

It’s not a well known fact, but Mr. Movie Jesus Troy Anderson and myself not only attended the same high school, we also graduated in the same year. As the last class to have a cool double-digit numerical abbreviation (at least until 2099), we were fortunate to avoid the ugly double zero of our progeny [...]

I do believe, with the foul-smelling, runny bit of cinema excrement streaking the insides of your computer via this review, that Living Corpse has now found itself a second enemy. That’s right, another addition to the THINGS WE HATE list that we haven’t made yet, even though we all hate the same things. Everyone, say [...]