Subtle Bluntness

I’m on a serious GraphJam kick.  Here’s another one, this time dedicated to everyone’s hero, Happycat. I think I need to be stopped before it’s too late.

Not only did Jane Q. take a Misfits song, she also took The Ramones and Michael Jackson, but I’m not going to let that stop me.  After all, I’ve only seen some version of the Misfits four times now, AND I saw Michale Graves on his solo tour promoting Punk Rock Is Dead, so I think I can go ahead and do some Misfits tunes, too.

First, here’s a video for all you dirty hippies.  Peace and love, gang.

Now here’s one for the ladies.  If only this were on a karaoke CD somewhere, because it would TOTALLY be my karaoke song.  I would absolutely kill it, too (no pun intended).

“So, Ron.  Since you’re going to link to like eight videos, since the Misfits are your favorite band ever… what’s your absolutely favorite all time Misfits song of ALL TIME, you goddamn son of a bitch?”

Why thank you, Overused Interior Monologue, I’m glad you asked.  And for the record:  I ain’t no goddamn son of a bitch! (Yes, that’s just a segue for the video.  No, I’ve never seen Jerry and company play it live, much to my chagrin.  Last time I talked to Jerry after the show, I told him I’d jump up and sing it.  He said he’d think about it.)

Interestingly enough, the song is used in the Creature Features remake of the old Roger Corman B-movie Teenage Cave Man, directed by the gifted and creepy Larry Clark.  Because I can’t let the reference slip by, the title of this post is a reference to yet another Misfits tune, oi oi oi.

Ginger has all the rest of the FGF action.  I’m too lazy to post all the links here.

Because I am the meme thief, I’ll steal this meme from Holly just like I stole FGF from… whoever I stole it from.  Probably Ginger, but I’ll be damned if I can remember.

It was either this song or “Float.”  Either one works.  Flogging Molly has a lot of songs that make the room dustier for me.  I blame the mournful fiddle.

25

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It’s nice to know I can beat up 25 five-year-olds at once. Good for me! Apparently my Fight Club training is paying off.

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Good for me! Also, I don’t like this new WordPress interior layout. Anyway, let’s see your scores, my 5 readers.

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That’s some fucking bullshit, gang.

Klinde tagged me for a meme, so here goes nothing. Maybe it’ll get me into the groove for writing. It can’t hurt!

You take each line and replace it with a single word of your choosing. Yes, just one word!!

Afterward, tag seven folks…

You’re feeling: cold
To your left: lamp (unshaded)
On your mind: blogging
Last meal included: spaghetti
You sometimes find it hard to: sleep
The weather: crisp
Something you have a collections of: DVDs
A smell that cheers you up: coffee
A smell that can ruin your mood: (cat) poop
How long since you last shaved: day (1)
The current state of your hair: shaggy
The largest item on your desk right now (besides computer): printer/scanner
Your skill with chopsticks: excellent
Which section you head to first in the bookstore: new releases
And after that?: fiction
Something you are craving: (banana crème) pie
Your general thoughts on the presidential race: long (second choice: boring)
How many times have you been hospitalized this year: none
A favorite place to go for quiet time: sleep
You’ve always secretly thought you’d be a good: teacher
Something that freaks you out a little: cockroaches
Something you’ve eaten too much of lately: junk
You have never: Vegas’d
You never want to: fail

Man, that’s harder than it looks. Hence me cheating so much to clarify what kind of poop or what kind of pie. What’s even harder is trying to tag seven people, so I’m going to cheat and not do that. If you want to be tagged, then say I tagged you so I feel like I’ve done my part.

Squirrel Queen tagged me, so here goes nothing. In the spirit of my newfound desire not to be the Grinch’s meaner half-uncle, it’s a Christmas-themed Xmas meme!

Rules for the game include:
1) Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.
2) Share Christmas facts about yourself.
3) Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
4) Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends.

1. Wrapping or gift bags? I prefer bags, just because, like most folks without a retail background and with absolutely no patience, my wrapped gifts look awful.

2. Real or artificial tree? Most of my life, we had fake trees; there were a few years awhile back we had real trees, but these days we’re treeless. There’s a cat in the house after all.

3. When do you put up the tree? Generally, we don’t. Before, we usually did it mid-December.

4. When do you take the tree down? After New Year’s, but before the Super Bowl.

5. Do you like eggnog? I agree Squirrel Queen—give me boiled custard, or give me death. My mom likes eggnog, and I like bourbon, so maybe she and I can compromise.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Anything electronic.

7. Do you have a nativity scene? Nope, and my idea for a fight scene between Santa Claus and Cobra Commander got shot down, too.

8. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Nothing immediately springs to mind, though I have been disappointed by the performance of some gifts.

9. Mail or email Christmas cards? In case you missed the post below, mail. Even if I’ll see you between now and Christmas, you’re still getting mail. And you’ll like it, ass!

10. Favorite Christmas Movie? Reindeer Games, starring Ben Affleck and Lt. Dan, featuring Naked Charlize Theron before she could act.

11. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I start as soon as possible, though since I tend to buy from Amazon, I have a lot of boxes laying around the house for November.

12. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Everything, especially candy canes, bourbon balls, fudge, chocolate anything, desserts, and all that fattening stuff that still manages to go great with the beer in the Samuel Adams Winter Collection

13. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Must… resist… urge… to make… lynching joke… ah, screw it. If it’s hanging from my tree, it has to be colored.

14. Favorite Christmas song? Pretty much any of the many Christmas songs by The Vandals.

15. Travel at Christmas or stay home? We go to relatives’ houses. Used to do two in one day, but now just one.

16. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer. They call them Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen… Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen. And yes I recall… THE most faaaaamous reindeeer of allll… Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

17. Angel on the tree top or a star? Star.

18. Open the presents Christmas Eve or Christmas Morning? Christmas Eve, but Santa usually ends up bringing surprise presents Christmas morning.

19. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Crowds and lousy TV specials

20. Do you decorate your tree in any specific theme or color? We don’t have a tree, but the house is generally festooned with Christmas-themed stuff.

21. What do you leave for Santa? Half a kilo of uncut Colombian marching powder. Oh, wait, that’s what I hope Santa leaves for me. Diet Pepsi and peanut brittle?

22. Least favorite holiday song? “Do They Know Its Christmas” by the disgusting Band Aid.

23. Favorite ornament? Hmmm… I don’t think I have one, but I did buy someone a Godzilla plushie that ended up becoming a permanent addition to her Christmas tree, which is pretty cool.

Tag, you’re it: Ginger, Klinde, Chez Bez, Jade (who doesn’t really have a blog but will no doubt read this), Sarah Dobbs, Mr. Peace (or one of his guest bloggers), and GingerFeathers.

Take it away, boys and girls!

So according to the memes found at Mingle2 via Newscoma and everyone else, I’m 87% addicted to my R-rated blog (for saying penis twice and bastards once… I guess that’s penis four times and bastards three times now), and only 71% addicted to coffee. My dead body is worth $4425, so maybe I should cut back on the coffee and blogging.

The internet can tell you all sorts of great things these days, like how much you like certain things, how addicted to substances you are, and how much money your corpse is worth after you kick the bucket. Now if only someone could point me in the direction of places where I can enhance my sex drive, refinance my home loans, attract the opposite sex, get out of debt, buy cheap prescription drugs, and mighty my penis.  Gussy it up however you want, Trebek.

I suppose the tubes can’t do everything for me.