Subtle Bluntness

Okay, so maybe 7 didn’t eat 9, but I did go see 9, the new animated sci-fi stitchpunk post-apocalyptic action-thriller adjectives-filled feast for the eyes from executive producers Tim Burton and Timur Bekmambetov.  Oh, also director/writer/animator Shane Acker, but nobody knows who he is so let’s mention the people involved with paying for the movie [...]

See that up there?  That’s Samuel L. Jackson in a Nazi uniform.  Kind of crazy, isn’t it? Well, that’s actually one of the most sane things about The Spirit, which I reviewed on Special 2-Disc DVD.  I was eagerly awaiting the movie when I heard it was going to be released, as I wanted to [...]

Sometimes the Internet causes me great pain.  One of the best things about my new writing gig over at Kiwibox is that whenever people respond, they get these things called Kiwipoints.  They’re like regular points, but green and kind of fuzzy.  Anyway, because people get Kiwipoints to respond to things like my DVD review of [...]

The electricity is back at my house.  I could not be more pleased.  Actually, I guess it’s been on since late Saturday, but last night was the first night it was on without an outage for the whole night.  This is major progress, especially given that we’re supposed to get more snow Tuesday and Wednesday. [...]

I don’t think I’ve ever gone into a movie, watched it, and come out with this thought: “That movie could’ve used the soothing directorial touch of Uwe Boll.” Then again, this is the first time I’ve ever seen a film as potentially ludicrous as Max Payne refuse to embrace the brain-searing incomprehensibility of its stated [...]

I kind of want to say George Lucas raped my childhood with his CGI animated version of The Clone Wars, but he didn’t. He just… disappointed my childhood, like he couldn’t even properly brutalize my good memories of Star Wars. It’s a little like expecting to be molested by your drunken stepfather, but then realizing [...]

I have a problem with any movie based heavily on cars. They always affect me a bit too much, and usually not for the best. Here’s an example: After I saw Grindhouse, I sped all the way home. Not just like a little speeding, I mean a lot speeding. I had the highway to myself, [...]

The Mummy 3 is, without a doubt, a dumb movie. Just when things seem like they’re getting more reasonable, something insane shows up and makes the movie that much crazier. Brendan Frasier is carved from a block of maple. Maria Bello has nothing to work with. There’s not enough Jet Li or Michelle Yeoh, and [...]

The Dark Knight is quite possibly the most hyped film of the year, thanks to the death of Heath Ledger. As it turns out, the second of Christopher Nolan’s Batman films might also be the best film of the year as well. Check out my comprehensive review at Den of Geek. Honestly, this movie was [...]

If you’re interested in my thoughts on Hellboy, Guillermo Del Toro’s genius with visuals, the funniest movie singalong in some time, and of course my man-crush on the awesome Ron Perlman, click here and read my Den of Geek review of Hellboy II: The Golden Army. Featuring absolutely gorgeous cinematography and special effects (practical effects, [...]