Jan 15 2010
10 in 2010 Trollgasm
There’s just something about a list that makes people virulent. Take, for example, my list of 10 big films to watch out for in 2010. On the surface, if you actually READ the entries, you’ll see that these aren’t all guaranteed to be good. However, they *might* be good and even if they’re not, they will be much talked about. Tell that to the trolls who lack reading comprehension skills.
For the most part, my list seems to get approval. Some people don’t like the inclusion of B movies like Machete and The Expendables; that’s fine. They’re mostly respectful. Some people are angry that I left off movies that come out in 2011. That’s fine too; it’s not my fault you can’t read or do simple Google-based reasearch. Some people think my selection of an 11th movie, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, is stupid. I guess they didn’t read the part where I talked about how excited I am by the chance to slag off yet another Turdlight film. That’s fine, I can’t force people to get sarcasm, and DoG hasn’t paid up to buy the Sarcasm Mark yet.
However, one common thread is that people are livid about two movies: Alice in Wonderland and Robin Hood.
When it comes to Alice, I kind of understand. People (geeks) are sick of Johnny Depp prancing around in an incredibly gay costume. I get that. People are also sick of Tim Burton selling them a bill of goods, then delivering another half-baked shit brownie of a movie. I get that, too. But the outright hate is kind of mystifying. Doesn’t he still have moments of occasional brilliance, even in his lowest moments? Well, not Planet of the Apes low, but Sweeny Todd wasn’t all bad and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory had its moments! Hell, I threw the caveat right there in the description! “Despite being burned by Burton’s last few films, it’s hard not to be taken in by the chance that this sequel to Alice In Wonderland recaptures the laudanum dreamscape of Burton’s classic films.“ Plus, the script is out of his hands and is in the hands of someone who has won a Best Picture (Linda Woolverton), so hopefully it’ll be better than his normal product.
And the other object of hate? Robin Hood has been done to death; I get that. People are letting Russell Crowe’s personal life and temper detract from their enjoyment of his acting work; I get that too. But are people really not familiar with Ridley Scott? I mean, does the fact that he made Alien make a difference? OR that Gladiator was actually a really good movie in spite of the hype? Blade Runner? Legend? Am I wrong in saying this could be the best version of Robin Hood’s tired story since the Disney cartoon? I threw a caveat on this one too, saying its quality would depend largely on Brian Helgeland’s script (he did both LA Confidential and The Postman, so it’s a crapshoot [literally]).
But no, I don’t want to see them remake Clash of the Titans and ruin it with computers when they’re doing better stop motion now than they ever have. No, I don’t give a crap about Prince of Persia. And no, I’m not terribly excited by Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, if only because I’m kind of sick of Michael Cera and am totally unfamilar with the source material. I can’t even get credit for the 8 good movies I did pick versus the toss-ups I included and the exercise in masochism I added.
But hey, fuck me for having some uncharacteristic optimism, right?
There are always going to be different opinions, and some people may say stuff just to get a rise out of you. At least you can say you know what you are talking about, having done the research.
Personally, I’m looking forward to Alice in Wonderland.
You’re one of the very few.
Count me among the few–the proud–as well.
I’ve only had a couple of trolls in my day–blogwise, anyway. (It’s easier for those of us who can count our readership using only our appendages.) In my experience, they’re maybe a half-step above a spambot, zoning in on one or two keywords regardless of context and pasting in the same ungrammatical screed they’ve pasted on every other article with the same keywords they’ve come across.
It’s the equivalent of the kids I used to teach who would sleep through class, waking up only long enough to accuse me of racism when I described a story character’s hair or car or whatever as “black.” It’s maddening, it has implications for a pretty bleak future–but it’s mainly just sad. Give them a moment of the pity they deserve and then forget they exist.
It’s probably because I haven’t seen the other Johnny Depp in gay costume movies. :)
Holly-That’s a great comparison point. And you’re right, they do just zero in on a couple of points and ignore the rest. I shouldn’t let it upset me.
Lynda-You must’ve missed everything Johnny Depp has done in the past 20 years.