Nov 23 2009
New Moon, Old Problems
So, I got to see The Twilight Saga: New Moon on Sunday, after having waited for it a good chunk of Saturday. As you can see by its $140 million dollar opening weekend, it was very popular. Frightening popular, given the unsubtle message the movie has for teenage girls of all ages. Here’s my full review, for those who wish to revel in the carnage.
Unfortunately for me, by doing this review I opened myself up to criticism. After all, I pumped money into the New Moon machine. And really, could I conscionably do that if I hated Twilight as much as I claim? Well, I say yes, but others say no. Here’s the thing. Do I enjoy Twilight as a series of movies? No, of course not. They’re terrible. Robert Pattinson can’t act, and he’s the least-bad one of the bunch.
However, I do enjoy the Twilight movies in the same way that I love those terribad Syfy original movies. They’re great fun for MST3King in the theater, or fun for groaning and rolling your eyes during. And if the Rifftrax for New Moon is half as good as the Rifftrax for Twilight, then we’re in for some serious fun once that turd plops into the DVD bowl.
“That’s right, girls; if your boyfriend dumps you, there’s only one solution. You have to constantly risk death so you can hallucinate a constipated ghost with stupid hair. When that doesn’t work, then it’s time to start stringing along the only relatively nice boy in town who isn’t already paired off. That’s right, girls. You can string boys along and they’ll do anything for you, from hand-building you a couple of dirt bikes to becoming a werewolf and fighting off the super-powerful vampire woman who wants to kill you because your now ex-boyfriend blew town. Then you can reward Jacob’s loyalty by dumping him the moment Edward comes back into town! Yay!”
This is exactly why I hate the entire Twilight series: it gives young girls the entirely wrong message about what love relationships are supposed to be like. If I were the mom of one (and thank gawd I had a son instead), I’d be sitting her down and having a good long chat with her about why I didn’t want her buying into this crap.
So, people think they know better than you what you like? Bah! I don’t believe it.
They probably just want to justify having that Twilight poster on the wall. :)
Hello may I use some of the insight from this post if I reference you with a link back to your site?
Sure, knock yourself out bud. So long as you link back.