Jul 28 2009
Orphan (2009) Review And A Simple Question
I reviewed Orphan for Den of Geek this weekend. In the process of writing about the disappointing film, I stumbled across a vaguely interesting question. What’s better for a movie? To start off legitimately interesting and to devolve into a series of dumb clichés, or to just be a series of dumb clichés without teasing the audience with what might have been?
I’ve asked a few people about it, but I figured I’d open it up for discussion in the comments. Not that there’ll be much discussion; I don’t delude myself into thinking this blog is the hip destination for the cool kids. Howevah, but the three or four regular readers I have will definitely have opinions.
Here’s my take. If you’re going to just give me dumb clichés, don’t tease me with a good beginning. Let’s just lower ourselves to the retarded level that the movie is going to sink to and stay there the whole time. Let’s have cats jump out of closets, ham-fisted dialogue, and incredibly predictable happenings right off the bat. I can accept stupid; hell, I can even love stupid, but I can’t embrace a movie that starts off good and then takes the second Suckville exit off I(nteresting)-65.
I don’t mind the occasional dumb cliche in a movie, as long as its used well. However, don’t pile on the dumb cliches and expect me to want to watch it. As for Orphan, Esther’s entire bearing and appearance screamed “evil child” from the moment the trailer started, and the entire trailer looked like one big dumb cliche; why should I watch when I know what’s going to happen?
Just once, I would like to see a bit of a role reversal–orphan child gets adopted by perfect-looking family, but eventually discovers it’s the family that’s not what it was cracked up to be.
I hate wasting my money on a movie that starts off good then quickly goes to the dumb side. I don’t know what they do, but if a movie is going to be retarded, just be retarded and let me know so I don’t have to go see it.
Jade: That’s kind of the plot of The People Under The Stairs.
Lynda: Yeah, I can definitely understand that. But this was something that looked retarded, started out decent, then got extra retarded! I’m not sure what to think about it.