Mar 03 2009
Hanson 2.0 and Poison Ivy 4
Well, another weekend has come and gone, and for once, the American public surprised the crap out of me by rejecting the horror of Hanson 2.0 (the Jonas Brothers) at the box office. That $30-40 million dollar payday their 3-D concert experience was supposed to yield? Didn’t happen.
Instead, Americans chose to go see Tyler Perry’s Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to Jail again and for the first time, I can actually admit that the shitty black guy in drag movie is the better of the two viewing options. I’m as amazed as you are. Then again, the Jonas Brothers make Hanson sound like Iron Maiden. Mmm-bop!
Speaking of difficulties, I had to review a Lifetime Original Movie turned erotic thriller (they added 5 minutes of toplessness and sex scenes) for Kiwibox, which suggests to me that perhaps New Line either didn’t know who they were sending the movie out to or didn’t care. Either way, I had to watch it so I’m going to make you read it. Click here to check out my review of Poison Ivy: The Secret Society and revel in my thoughts on Drew Barrymore’s shovel-face, Alyssa Milano’s status as a groupie for broken-down pitchers, and the Poison Ivy tradition of getting former child actresses to grow up by getting their shirts off and grinding on C-list actors (in this case Greg “BJ and the Bear” Evigan). This one has both the anorexic girl with gonorrhea from Degrassi: The Next Generation and the dark-haired girl from Little Giants getting their respective freak on.
Before anyone asks, I now have official DVD copies of all four Poison Ivy movies.
