Subtle Bluntness

So, my dear cousin poisonous plant is giving away a Shrek 3 DVD over at Home Ec 101, so go here and leave them a link or a comment telling how you’d keep your kids busy for the 10 minutes necessary to go to have that early morning bowel movement in relative peace. As for [...]

Have yourself a bottle or 10 of Christmas cheer on me, kids. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Jewmas, and I love you all.

Everyone has a favourite holiday. For people like me, that favourite holiday is Halloween. The airwaves are full of horror movies, websites indulge in theme weeks celebrating underappreciated horror films (ahem), there’s lots of candy and treats, pumpkin-flavored beer, cool costumes, and general indulgence of our darker natures. Then, there’s the antithesis of Halloween: Christmas. [...]

It’s sad, but I actually remember the Monstervision Christmas marathon from back in the early 1990′s. Good times, gang. Good times. Cable television could use a man like Joe Bob Briggs again, that’s for damn sure.

Two reviews at Den of Geek last week: Alien and Aliens. It’s about time I put my massive collection of uber-expensive DVDs to use and do some DVD reviews. Fortunately, they were two of my best DVDs and not, you know, The Real World You Never Saw: Miami, where Cora shits like a moose and [...]

Okay, so all three of you who were expecting Christmas cards, they’ll probably be a little late. Or a little not at all. Why is that? Well, Monday, I went to the local holiday card outlet store and, after glancing through the store for the most flamingly gay box of cards I could find (literally, [...]

A nice fellow made use of the “Pester Me” page you see over yonder and contacted me with something so cool I just had to immediately share it, both with Newscoma (who’ll appreciate it) and everyone else (who acted confused or laughed at me for being so excited). Still, you never can tell who’ll want [...]

“Hey Ron, it’s me. You know, the lazy writer’s internal monologue!” Oh hi! Dude, it’s been awhile! How’s your old lady? “Man, don’t even get me started. She’s on the rag this week and, ugh…” Yeah, I know how that is brother. Anyway, what’s up? Why are you here? “Well, basically, it’s been awhile since [...]

I now have a new nickname, given to me by the infamous Bill Corbett of MST3K and Rifftrax fame. You may call me “STICKS.” The quotation marks are mandatory.

At work on Friday I had an observation while watching TV in the break room. The only time I’ve ever heard a Trans-Siberian Orchestra song on TV, it’s been in that Miller Lite commercial that we’ve all seen a million times. You know the one: the house with all the Christmas lights, synchronized to the [...]